Well as I mentioned before my bf will be applying for tourist visa with permission to marry. All the paperwork has been completed and he was put through a mock interview by the agent. He did pretty well without any help from me and has chosen to answer the questions in English should an interview take place. A file has been put together and the bf will be off to VFS to submit the application on Wednesday.

I'll keep all posted here as to how things progress.

John Botting wrote:

Well as I mentioned before my bf will be applying for tourist visa with permission to marry. All the paperwork has been completed and he was put through a mock interview by the agent. He did pretty well without any help from me and has chosen to answer the questions in English should an interview take place. A file has been put together and the bf will be off to VFS to submit the application on Wednesday.

I'll keep all posted here as to how things progress.

Have you considered a pre-nuptial agreement?

A cautionary tale:  a buddy of mine did the same thing you are doing.  Married bf, took him home, got him citizenship.  Three years later, the bf filed for divorce, took the house, the car, and half the cash.  An expensive lesson.

Singapore Sexpat wrote:

John Botting wrote:

Well as I mentioned before my bf will be applying for tourist visa with permission to marry. All the paperwork has been completed and he was put through a mock interview by the agent. He did pretty well without any help from me and has chosen to answer the questions in English should an interview take place. A file has been put together and the bf will be off to VFS to submit the application on Wednesday.

I'll keep all posted here as to how things progress.

Have you considered a pre-nuptial agreement?

A cautionary tale:  a buddy of mine did the same thing you are doing.  Married bf, took him home, got him citizenship.  Three years later, the bf filed for divorce, took the house, the car, and half the cash.  An expensive lesson.

Ummm, good point SS I hadn't thought of it. However as I don't own property in the UK presently and have no plans to do so in the near future I guess it isn't necessary yet?  But a good point and certainly food for thought for me.

Indeed.  Marriage is a serious matter, with serious consequences.  Just ask Paul McCartney.

PS:  it is all the more important if you are starting with little.  Your husband will have a legal right to 50% of everything you earn and acquire while you are together.

A pre-nup arrangement is the first order of business when you have any wedding plans. Did not know that the UK now allows same sex marriages.

Quote:

Did not know that the UK now allows same sex marriages.

It doesn't, but when I raised the point earlier John informed that the visa forms use the term "marriage" even though the permission is for a "civil partnership".

Technically it is a civil partnership, but the difference is minimal. Been legal for a year or two.

Singapore Sexpat wrote:

Have you considered a pre-nuptial agreement?

SS,

pre-nuptial agreements have no formal legal standing in the UK, as distinct from the US - any division of property is entirely up to the divorce courts. A similar agreement is binding on those in "common-law" marriages or partnerships, where it is a legal contract, but this is not the case with registered marriages or civil partnerships - including any property earnt or acquired during any preceeding common-law marriage / partnership, irrespective of where it was originally made.

John Botting wrote:

However as I don't own property in the UK presently and have no plans to do so in the near future I guess it isn't necessary yet

El Presidente,

You are being unusually modest - or have you forgotten the several million baht you are returning to England with ("I will go home with double the money I bought here ")?  After all, double the amount required to purchase half a dozen rental saloons, plus your own new car, is hardly nothing.

In the event of the cancellation of the partnership (divorce), your partner would also be entitled to half of this, as it would have been earnt during the time you would have been together as common law partners, as you are in the process of confirming in his visa application.

Apparently ginko biloba and ginseng are good for memory loss, if it is not too late ...

A few comments on this as far as English law goes:

A divorce settlement is not necessarily for 50%. The concept in English law is for "maintenance" - maintaining the partner in the style to which they have become accustomed, if you like. That is obvioulsy dependent on your own means and lifestyle. In addition to this, an assessment is made of any  contribution the partner may have made to acquiring the assets accumulated during the marriage. This is widely interpreted to include providing the comfort and support of a home, for example, but does not necessarily mean 50%.

Be sure to count all your assets before you decide you don't have too much to worry about. If you have money saved away for a pension, and especially if that provides for a continuing dependant's pension after your death, then the courts can order a division of the pension. The court will make an order to the trustees/managers of the fund, and it will be divided into two pots, one for you and one for the ex.

If you have made a will, it will be nullified by your marriage. Your husband will become the principal beneficiary of your estate if you die intestate. If you want to, you will need to make a new will.

Assuming that you do wish to make provision in a will for your new husband, then you may want to consider setting up a trust fund. I don't know what Lao boys are like with money, but if they are anything like Thais......

But - life is not a business, and if you don't trust him enough to take some risk, why get married in the first place? I'm not saying throw all caution to the winds, just that nothing in life is risk free.

John, I hope it all works out for you and you will be very happy together. Good luck

John Botting wrote:

However as I don't own property in the UK presently and have no plans to do so in the near future I guess it isn't necessary yet?  But a good point and certainly food for thought for me.

All the Mem'sahibs are well aware they they will be able to divide up the overdraft between themselves equally after my death  

ceejay wrote:

A few comments on this as far as English law goes:

A divorce settlement is not necessarily for 50%. The concept in English law is for "maintenance" - maintaining the partner in the style to which they have become accustomed, if you like. That is obvioulsy dependent on your own means and lifestyle. In addition to this, an assessment is made of any  contribution the partner may have made to acquiring the assets accumulated during the marriage. This is widely interpreted to include providing the comfort and support of a home, for example, but does not necessarily mean 50%.

Be sure to count all your assets before you decide you don't have too much to worry about. If you have money saved away for a pension, and especially if that provides for a continuing dependant's pension after your death, then the courts can order a division of the pension. The court will make an order to the trustees/managers of the fund, and it will be divided into two pots, one for you and one for the ex.

If you have made a will, it will be nullified by your marriage. Your husband will become the principal beneficiary of your estate if you die intestate. If you want to, you will need to make a new will.

Assuming that you do wish to make provision in a will for your new husband, then you may want to consider setting up a trust fund. I don't know what Lao boys are like with money, but if they are anything like Thais......

But - life is not a business, and if you don't trust him enough to take some risk, why get married in the first place? I'm not saying throw all caution to the winds, just that nothing in life is risk free.

John, I hope it all works out for you and you will be very happy together. Good luck

Good points ceeyay,

I am entering a civil partnership with him as I owe him a lot. He supported me throughout my hospital stay, looking after me, my parents and my sons when they visited. Without him being my rock I may have not got through the ordeal. I really did end up being dependant on him. Not many would have done what he did. So I want to pay him back and show my commitment to him. Am I taking a risk? Well I hope not, but you can never be sure can you? I certainly will do a new will as the present one mentions the ex-wife.

John its been nearly a week how did you get on with your young mans visa application ???? don't keep us all in suspenders dear

John Botting wrote:

  I certainly will do a new will as the present one mentions the ex-wife.

John certainly do a new will now, for the immediate future  but you will find in UK law it becomes invalid as soon as you go through a civil partnership, when you must make another one dated after the ceremony.

Thip went to VFS on Wednesday, handed in all the paperwork. Had one hiccup, they ask for a cashiers cheque or bankers draft for the payment. So I get a cahiers cheque in my Pattaya bank, the VFS refuse it as its not drawn from a Bangkok based branch. How bloody stupid.

Anyhow the problem was solved, now waiting for the phone call to say pick up the passport, or get a phone call asking him for an interview. Will be next week sometime.