The United States of Amerigo Vespucci were founded in 1776 by a national act of Civil Disobedience. After chasing the disobedient colonists around North America for several years, the British gave up all hope of administering a good spanking, and returned to Europe to give the French a good hiding.
                               ***************
~ An American on the lack of American history
Americans originated from monkeys in Iceland and went on to turn into fat dog-humping retards. They accidentally travelled to Mexico in search of cocaine and more dogs to hump. Soon however, they were too stupid to maintain their dog-humping traditions and instead went on to hump trees
                               ***************
Notable American Achievements
An American citizen managed to get out of his armchair on only his fifth attempt. Have been awardeded the IRPP (Independent Red Potatoe Prize)

They invented "friendly fire".
They invented "consistently inconsistent".
They invented "obesity".
They invented "the competitive eating".
They invented "collateral damage".
They invented "shit happens"
They invented "shit happens too often"
They invented "when shit happens you go and get some nukes"
They invented "deep throat"
They invented "bend down and grease over"
They invented "porn"
They invented "We Fuck Iraq 'till Iran will do it for us"
They invented "Brokeback Mountain"
They invented "Al Gore" (Who invented the internet)
They invented "Ann Coulter the Supreme Cunt"
They invented "Blue Screen of Death (BSoD)"
They invented "Oprah Winfrey"
They invented "Canada jokes"
They invented "101 ways to fuck up this world"
They invented "balding"
They invented "sucky bands such as The Dave Matthews Band(note Dave is actually fromSouth Africa
They invented "Communism"
They invented "the British"
They invented "Scientology(stupid ass cult believing in alien crap)"
They invented "killing for sport"
They invented "god"
They invented "Nazi Socialism"
They invented "Child molestation"
They invented "Online predators"
They invented "Cyber bullying"
They invented "Yo' Momma jokes"
They invented "Ignorance"
They invented "The whole universe"
They invented "This List of Inventions"

(Fast) Food
The average amount of caca (NeoEnglish for food) eaten a day by a average America citizen is 16, which all consists of 40 cokes 40 big macs and 40 live Arabs (if there are no Arabs around Mexicans are just as nice, how ever Canadians are much sought for).

Science
Americans are a notoriously superstitious people. According to a recent gallup poll, only 7% of Americans believe in gravity, while 79% believe "God is keeping them on the ground with his vast mental powers," and 10% remain undecided.

The People of USA
There are many different people living in the wasteland of USA though all are boring, and stupid and lack humour. Except George W. Bush (Classified as "That Fucking Evil Idiot" by an english dictionary). Some of the inhabitants are: fat whores, homosexual retards, fat asses, KKK, White men, Africans, Black Men, Yellow men, Bea Arthur, Blue men, Swedes, Chinese, Republicans, Homosexuals, Fags, Illegal immigrants, Legal immigrants, Red men, the French, Greys (a small colony on Area 51), Arabs, Idiots, This guy, Your Mom, Jesus freaks, Armadillos, Satanists, Pokemon, GI Joe, Rednecks, Liberals, White trash, between others.

much more at: http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/USA

Don't you and Colonel Klink have better things to do than to try to wind up us yanks?  I don't want to start explaining about all the nasty traditions we picked up from our colonial masters.  Plus, if you piss us off, we'll nuke ya...

The People of USA
There are many different people living in the wasteland of USA though all are boring, and stupid and lack humour. Except George W. Bush (Classified as "That Fucking Evil Idiot" by an english dictionary). Some of the inhabitants are: fat whores, homosexual retards, fat asses, KKK, White men, Africans, Black Men, Yellow men, Bea Arthur, Blue men, Swedes, Chinese, Republicans, Homosexuals, Fags, Illegal immigrants, Legal immigrants, Red men, the French, Greys (a small colony on Area 51), Arabs, Idiots, This guy, Your Mom, Jesus freaks, Armadillos, Satanists, Pokemon, GI Joe, Rednecks, Liberals, White trash, between others.

Quote:

That is what makes this country great and why we don't let people like you in.

Bob wrote:

Don't you and Colonel Klink have better things to do than to try to wind up us yanks?  I don't want to start explaining about all the nasty traditions we picked up from our colonial masters.  Plus, if you piss us off, we'll nuke ya...

But Bob, you'll probably miss and it'll end up being 'friendly fire' - another silly expression that could only have come out of the land of the not so free....

fattman wrote:

But Bob, you'll probably miss and it'll end up being 'friendly fire' - another silly expression that could only have come out of the land of the not so free....

Horseshoes and nuclear weapons: only two games in town where all ya gotta be is close, fattman.

In the interests of bi-partisanship I give you some of Lunchtime's observations about the great island of Ireland :

The economic downfall of Ireland
Despite contrary belief of the potato being the national currency, oh hell, who am I kidding, of course it is. At one point in history, however, their main currency was alcohol. There were no potatoes to use for money during the famine, so they resorted to alcohol. They loved it so much, and needed it equally as much, that they were never able to give it to others. Business' collapsed, the British had little to steal, and there was a nationwide hangover everywhere across the land. They decided to use the potato, figuring that would make one payment instead of two to the English. This led to whiskey being a primary export, as they could not procure the Guinness producing gland from their bodies to get it out.

and we can't leave out Homitern who has said this about is homeland:
Australia is ruled by England's Queen Elizabeth II, a tyrannical and insane monarch who also runs things in New Zealand, Canada, America and India. The current government's international policy seems to be "It'll be fine, leave it" and apparently consists of doing the American army's work for them before heading off to the local pub, while the Americans take the absence as an opportunity to claim credit for winning the war.

Contrary to Popular Belief, Australia is still a colony of Great Britain. Queen Liz has pleaded with Australia to grow up and be independent. However, Australia prefers to still be governed by Great Britain for the sake of tradition, just like Americans prefer to be fat because they can't get off their behinds to save their lives, and the Japanese like to be productive and creative because they're stuck in the 1600s.
 


Australian Prime Minister Kevin Rudd in conference with his cabinet

Oh say can you see, an upgrade to USB ...

Lunchtime O'Booze wrote:

The United States of Amerigo Vespucci were founded in 1776 by a national act of Civil Disobedience. After chasing the disobedient colonists around North America for several years, the British gave up all hope of administering a good spanking, and returned to Europe to give the French a good hiding.
                               ***************
~ An American on the lack of American history
Americans originated from monkeys in Iceland and went on to turn into fat dog-humping retards. They accidentally travelled to Mexico in search of cocaine and more dogs to hump. Soon however, they were too stupid to maintain their dog-humping traditions and instead went on to hump trees
                               ***************
Notable American Achievements
An American citizen managed to get out of his armchair on only his fifth attempt. Have been awardeded the IRPP (Independent Red Potatoe Prize)

They invented "friendly fire".
They invented "consistently inconsistent".
They invented "obesity".
They invented "the competitive eating".
They invented "collateral damage".
They invented "shit happens"
They invented "shit happens too often"
They invented "when shit happens you go and get some nukes"
They invented "deep throat"
They invented "bend down and grease over"
They invented "porn"
They invented "We Fuck Iraq 'till Iran will do it for us"
They invented "Brokeback Mountain"
They invented "Al Gore" (Who invented the internet)
They invented "Ann Coulter the Supreme Cunt"
They invented "Blue Screen of Death (BSoD)"
They invented "Oprah Winfrey"
They invented "Canada jokes"
They invented "101 ways to fuck up this world"
They invented "balding"
They invented "sucky bands such as The Dave Matthews Band(note Dave is actually fromSouth Africa
They invented "Communism"
They invented "the British"
They invented "Scientology(stupid ass cult believing in alien crap)"
They invented "killing for sport"
They invented "god"
They invented "Nazi Socialism"
They invented "Child molestation"
They invented "Online predators"
They invented "Cyber bullying"
They invented "Yo' Momma jokes"
They invented "Ignorance"
They invented "The whole universe"
They invented "This List of Inventions"

(Fast) Food
The average amount of caca (NeoEnglish for food) eaten a day by a average America citizen is 16, which all consists of 40 cokes 40 big macs and 40 live Arabs (if there are no Arabs around Mexicans are just as nice, how ever Canadians are much sought for).

Science
Americans are a notoriously superstitious people. According to a recent gallup poll, only 7% of Americans believe in gravity, while 79% believe "God is keeping them on the ground with his vast mental powers," and 10% remain undecided.

The People of USA
There are many different people living in the wasteland of USA though all are boring, and stupid and lack humour. Except George W. Bush (Classified as "That Fucking Evil Idiot" by an english dictionary). Some of the inhabitants are: fat whores, homosexual retards, fat asses, KKK, White men, Africans, Black Men, Yellow men, Bea Arthur, Blue men, Swedes, Chinese, Republicans, Homosexuals, Fags, Illegal immigrants, Legal immigrants, Red men, the French, Greys (a small colony on Area 51), Arabs, Idiots, This guy, Your Mom, Jesus freaks, Armadillos, Satanists, Pokemon, GI Joe, Rednecks, Liberals, White trash, between others.

much more at: http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/USA

You know, Mr. O'Booze, you can write crap forever, but why the fuck do you claim that I wrote it or said it?

Quote:

There are many different people living in the wasteland of USA though all are boring, and stupid and lack humour.

Gee, kenc on another thread was kind of trying to deny this idiotic anti-Americanism.

But, there you go again.  Myself, I think that ALL X are Y is idiotic, when the first term X refers to a country, unless it's self-referential.  "All Spanish are Spanish" is true but not interesting.  "All Spanish love bull-fights" is false.  "Many Spanish like bull-fights" is open to investigation.

I don't know, Mr. O'Booze, but when you say "All Americans are boring and stupid," maybe you should take a quick peek at the man in the glass.

Notable American Achievements:

1. Establishment of the first modern constitutional democracy.
2. Establishment of the freedom of religion and the freedom of speech.
3. Successful development (still ongoing) of the largest untouched continent on Earth.
4. Successful acceptance of millions of refugees from around the globe.
5. Succeeding in abolishing slavery.
6. Helped England win WW I.
7. Helped England win WW II.
8. Led the Free World against the Communists, and won without firing a shot.
9. Took a large part in the invention of the computer.
10. Invented and commercialized jet transport for the common man.
11. Invented and commercialized the personal computer.
12. Invented and commercialized the Internet.
13. Discoverer of the vaccine against polio, etc. etc. etc.
14. Basically invented the whole idea of mass production and made automobiles available to all.
15. Invented the telephone and the electric light, plus sound recording.

This list could go on and on, but anyway, when you finish typing out your "God Damn America" tirade on your PC, and post it over the Internet to Sawatdee Forum, then call up a friend to say how much Americans piss you off, and then turn off the lights and turn on your stereo to go to sleep, while planning on your car trip to Hua Hin next month, please realize that No America = no PC, no Internet, no phone, no lights, no stereo and no car.  (Yes, I am well aware that the Germans invented the car, but Henry Ford brought it to the millions.)

Oh, and when you plan your next trip home, think about who made that trip possible. (Can you say "Boeing" or "Howard Hughes?")

But all of this is simply too well-known to be worth repeating.

I do wish, though, at least sometimes, these crackpots would sit back and ask themselves, "After all, what have -- for example -- we ruddy British accomplished in the last fifty years?"  Even more, you might ask yourself, "Was there something in our economic system that held people back?"

Envy is a truly ugly thing, and one of the seven deadly sins.

1. Establishment of the first modern constitutional democracy.

The Greeks having screwed it up and not made a constitution for lack of paper.

2. Establishment of the freedom of religion and the freedom of speech.

Except in Guantanamo Bay.

3. Successful development (still ongoing) of the largest untouched continent on Earth.

Lost me there. You're "touched". Did the indigenes have no hands?

4. Successful acceptance of millions of refugees from around the globe.

What is the measure of success. I have "reservations" (geddit?), about this.

5. Succeeding in abolishing slavery.

Long after the British and Romans.

6. Helped England win WW I.

Scotland helped more.

7. Helped England win WW II.
see 6. Dithered on whether to help Germany instead.

8. Led the Free World against the Communists, and won without firing a shot.

but tore up your own constitution to torture in Cuba - what's free about that?

9. Took a large part in the invention of the computer.

Oh yes. Hollerith, is it? Inventor of the chad and that truly undemocratic artifact the hanging chad through which the free world has been bushwhacked. cf. contributions of Babage, Turing,

10. Invented and commercialized jet transport for the common man.

The jet Engine was invented by Air Commodore Sir Frank Whittle, OM, KBE, FRS, Hon FRAeS who was English and of the Royal Air Force.

11. Invented and commercialized the personal computer.

Not an invention - a development see 9

12. Invented and commercialized the Internet.

Not an invention - a development, was it so that the CIA and Google could do what Metternich failed at.

13. Discoverer of the vaccine against polio, etc. etc. etc.

One of thousands of medical developments.

14. Basically invented the whole idea of mass production and made automobiles available to all.

leading to heinously enslaved workforces, but hey, they were descended from cotton pickin' slaves

15. Invented the telephone and the electric light, plus sound recording.

The telephone was invented by Alexander Graham Bell, a deaf Scot.

Should the title read POTTY rather than potted?

Henry Cate wrote:

Notable American Achievements:

1. Establishment of the first modern constitutional democracy.
2. Establishment of the freedom of religion and the freedom of speech.
3. Successful development (still ongoing) of the largest untouched continent on Earth.
4. Successful acceptance of millions of refugees from around the globe.
5. Succeeding in abolishing slavery.
6. Helped England win WW I.
7. Helped England win WW II.
8. Led the Free World against the Communists, and won without firing a shot.
9. Took a large part in the invention of the computer.
10. Invented and commercialized jet transport for the common man.
11. Invented and commercialized the personal computer.
12. Invented and commercialized the Internet.
13. Discoverer of the vaccine against polio, etc. etc. etc.
14. Basically invented the whole idea of mass production and made automobiles available to all.
15. Invented the telephone and the electric light, plus sound recording.

This list could go on and on, but anyway, when you finish typing out your "God Damn America" tirade on your PC, and post it over the Internet to Sawatdee Forum, then call up a friend to say how much Americans piss you off, and then turn off the lights and turn on your stereo to go to sleep, while planning on your car trip to Hua Hin next month, please realize that No America = no PC, no Internet, no phone, no lights, no stereo and no car.  (Yes, I am well aware that the Germans invented the car, but Henry Ford brought it to the millions.)

Oh, and when you plan your next trip home, think about who made that trip possible. (Can you say "Boeing" or "Howard Hughes?")

But all of this is simply too well-known to be worth repeating.

I do wish, though, at least sometimes, these crackpots would sit back and ask themselves, "After all, what have -- for example -- we ruddy British accomplished in the last fifty years?"  Even more, you might ask yourself, "Was there something in our economic system that held people back?"

Envy is a truly ugly thing, and one of the seven deadly sins.

I would like to suggest that you go back through your list and correct the errors, or you will be in for the usual barrage of nasty postings.

Henry Cate wrote:

..... please realize that No America = no PC, no Internet, no phone, no lights, no stereo and no car.  (Yes, I am well aware that the Germans invented the car, but Henry Ford brought it to the millions.)

Oh, and when you plan your next trip home, think about who made that trip possible. (Can you say "Boeing" or "Howard Hughes?")

But all of this is simply too well-known to be worth repeating.

I do wish, though, at least sometimes, these crackpots would sit back and ask themselves, "After all, what have -- for example -- we ruddy British accomplished in the last fifty years?"  Even more, you might ask yourself, "Was there something in our economic system that held people back?"

Envy is a truly ugly thing, and one of the seven deadly sins.

Oh Henry, wrong again.

No America = no PC? Ever heard of Konrad Zuse? He was a German who invented the first programmable computer - in 1941. IBM opted his patents.

No America = no Internet? Ever heard of Tim Berners-Lee and CERN? Even Dan Brown got the invention of the Internet right.

No America = no lights? Ever heard of Joseph W Swan? He was a British inventor who, in February 1879, demonstrated a working lamp in a lecture in Newcastle. His lamps contained the major elements seen in Edison's lamps that October: an enclosed glass bulb from which all air had been removed, platinum lead wires, and a light-emitting element made from carbon.  He's the other half of the Swan and Edison company.

No America = no stereo? Ever heard of Alan Blumlein. He was the British inventor of stereo (British patent No. 394325, 1933) (BTW, the BBC made radio's first stereo broadcast in December 1925).

And when I plan my next trip home, it will probably be on a plane made by Airbus.  And why would I want to say "Howard Hughes"?

As for modern British inventions and discoveries of the last 50 or so years, how about DNA, the technology behind the iPod (Kane Kramer), Viagra (Andrew Bell, Dr David Brown and Dr Nicholas Terrett, Pfizer employees in Kent, UK), and the hovercraft just to name a few?

Oh, and Henry Ford may have brought the car to millions, but his mass production methods owed everything to the  British inventor, Henry Maudslay, whose contribution to modern mass production was the invention of precision machine tools capable of producing the identical parts necessary for mass production techniques; British industrial tool-making at the time was so much better than American! Credit where credit is due.

Henry Cate wrote:

..... But all of this is simply too well-known to be worth repeating......

No, what you think is so, isn't so!

Henry Cate wrote:

..... Envy is a truly ugly thing, and one of the seven deadly sins.

So is pride - on every list the original and most serious of the seven deadly sins - but the one in which you love to indulge (though often it seems to be hubris - overweening pride, self-confidence, superciliousness, or arrogance)!

Maybe I should look at some of these posts as "humor" but I detect a couple REAL  American haters. Scary to think well educated people on this  post could be so filled with venom.  AS an American (and I am NOT a Bush lover) if I had it  my way, I'd like to see the USA stay out of  world politics (in other words #uck it) and spend the bucks (well, borrowed money) on themselves. YES, I am also tired of  the USA "policing the world".  Most of the screwed up fanatic countries are located in the back door of Europe, so let them worry about it.

homintern is on your IGNORE list.