my wai or the "hi" way

[a447]

Just wondering - when I met a younger guy, should I wai, or just say "hi."

[sanook]

Just wondering - when I met a younger guy, should I wai, or just say "hi."

There is a very basic rule, if in doubt don't wai. It isn't expected from a Farang, and if done in a wrong way can actually in a few cases cause embarrassment to the Thai.

[allieb]

Just wondering - when I met a younger guy, should I wai, or just say "hi."

In my opinion don't wai in any curcumstances. Your not a Tai and it's not expected. A Thai Friend of mine once told me that seeing a Farang wai makes him cringe. Whatever next , surgery on the eyes to look like Thais.

If a Thai wais me I bow my head slightly in response.

[Surfcrest]

I posted this many years back (perhaps on EZ Board)....here it is again.

The Wai

The hands-together, used as a greeting, an expression of thanks, a sign of respect toward status superiors, and as an apology for social mistakes or inconvenience. Initiated by the status inferior, it is a sign of respect toward one’s status superior (i.e. from younger to elder, subordinate to boss, layperson to monk, etc). The Pra-nom-meu is the actual hands together gesture, made in the shape of a lotus bud. The Wai itself is the movement of the hands to the level of the chin, nose or forehead, usually with the head dipped.

Foreigners will rarely initiate a Wai (this would not be expected by the Thai). However, it is necessary for the foreigner to always acknowledge the Wai. Think of the Wai as a hand extended for a hand-shake. If the foreigner feels comfortable doing so, the Wai given in greeting or parting can be returned with the foreigner’s Pra-nom-meu

The level of the hands and the dipping of the head demonstrate the presenter’s degree of respect. For instance, a monk will be presented a greeting Pra-nom-meu Wai in which the fingertips are at forehead level and the head is dipped lower (sometimes called a “High Wai” by foreigners). Note that in the presence of a monk, the Thai typically sit holding the Pra-nom-meu at chest level.

The gesture demonstrated by the lovely Thai International Airways attendant upon boarding or deplaning an aircraft is in most cases, the only kind most foreigners would use to acknowledge a Wai. The Pra-nom-meu is held below the chin and the head need not be dipped. Even if the hands are full, the Thai makes an attempt at the gesture.

A foreigner, if desired, can first present the Wai in greeting the elderly, monks, or other high-status people, in which case, the hands would be placed higher toward the nose and the head bowed slightly. The Wai is a social gesture of acknowledgement and respect; misuse of it by indiscriminate presentation can cause great embarrassment. For instance, presenting a Wai to a waiter or waitress could be construed as mocking. Don’t initiate a Wai to a child, as many believe this will take seven years off the child’s life.

The Wai given in thanks for a gift or deed, and the Wai given as an apology need not be returned-just acknowledge with a nod and a smile.

Before Buddha images, highly venerated monks, and royalty, the Thai perform a triple Pra-nom-meu Wai and protration. This triple prostration is called gráp.

The above noted text was taken from Bua Luang’s WYSIWYS Thai Phrase Book written by Eric Allyn. This book is was available from Floating Lotus. It is an excellent reference manual for understanding Thai culture.

A Wai is given for a gift or a deed. This would include being invited into the home of your Thai friend, especially if you are staying for tea, dinner or overnight. Remember Wai and your Shoes (remove your shoes before crossing the threshold.


.....or as Beachlover would say....."cluck".

[Fuck-Face]

Good God, no. Please.

[a447]

Wow! It IS possible to get sensible replies on this board.
Thanks for the info, guys. I will NOT offer a wai from now on.

[cdnmatt]

If a Thai wais me I bow my head slightly in response.

Exact same here. Acknowledges the wai with respect, without making an ass out of yourself, and embarrassing everyone you're with.

Well, unless I get dragged to the temple of course, then obviously, I wai to the monks. That's about the only time though.

[Marsilius]

Easy rule of thumb: think of a wai as the same as addressing someone as "sir".

You would not say "Good evening, sir!" to a doorman, bell-boy or a go-go boy... So do not wai him.

You probably would say "Good morning, sir!" to your boss, a provincial governor or - God forbid! - a Thai magistrate... So you would wai them.

[Kun Jon]

The only people I ever "Wai" are my boyfriend's mother and monks. My boyfriend says his mother appreciates it and it's the polite thing to do. That's in rural Ratchaburi where I'm the only Farang that ever visits her village.

Things in Pattaya are very different and I don't use the "Wai" and I don't think it's expected but acknowledging it from someone else is just being polite.

[ajarntrade]

Due to the fact that you are a foreigner YOU are of higher status than the Thai person. ( I know most Americans will cringe at that thought, but it is true ). Because traditional Thai culture is feudal in nature, everyone knows who is above them and who is below them in society... and THEY like it that way.

You should NEVER wai first or at all, a simple nod of the head in acknowledgment is sufficient.

- ajarntrade

[maisoui]

Due to the fact that you are a foreigner YOU are of higher status than the Thai person. ( I know most Americans will cringe at that thought, but it is true ). Because traditional Thai culture is feudal in nature, everyone knows who is above them and who is below them in society... and THEY like it that way.

You should NEVER wai first or at all, a simple nod of the head in acknowledgment is sufficient.

- ajarntrade

I'm not American and I'm puking at this. I know many Thais of higher status than a language teacher. Your post is just crass racism.

[Fuck-Face]

Due to the fact that you are a foreigner YOU are of higher status than the Thai person.

Your vision of Thai society is warped. If you think that you, simply because you are a foreigner, are of higher status than any Thai person, you are doomed to getting your head kicked in.

[josan]

"Due to the fact that you are a white YOU are of higher status than the Thai person."

[Smiles]

" ... The hands-together, used as a greeting, an expression of thanks, a sign of respect toward status superiors, and as an apology for social mistakes or inconvenience ... "

Agree for the most part about 'wai-ing' (i.e. don't wai if you are unsure), and never initiating a 'wai' to someone younger than yourself. I don't think it hurts to 'wai' back to a Thai if he gives you one (though don't wai back to waiters, or service workers in general while they are working.) Definitely 'wai' the Immigration officer if he wais you, and back it up with 100 baht under the arm

The part bolded-in-blue in the above quote is important though, even for farangs. A wai is quite appropriate if you should ~ for instance ~ bump somebody hard on the street, step on someone's foot, cause someone else to have an accident, etc etc. Wai-ing under such circumstances reduces the tension level, lowers any anger caused, makes peace in a situation where you have inadvertantly wronged a Thai.

The other evening myself and a friend were sitting in Guys Bar. A young Thai guy who works there named 'Chee' (whom we both know) came over ~ as he usually does ~ and sat with us as we talked. At one point Chee went to get my friend another beer, brought it over and started pouring a glass for him. For some reason I was idly watching this and saw that his hand and arm were shaking quite noticeably as he poured. When he sat down I said to him something along these lines:

ME: "You drunk already, it's only 9:30?" (This was in a joking tone ... he knew it)
CHEE: "No, not drunk"
ME: "Your hands are really shaking"
CHEE: "Yes yes. Do you know, I have Parkinson's Disease"

Well. After taking my sandal out of my mouth, feeling very bad, very sad ... I gave him a quite high and quite bowed head 'wai'. And in english, accompanied it with heartfelt apologies. It just seemed the exact right thing to do at the time.

Chee is 28, a good guy, always a smile, never pushy with the massage invitations. I had noticed this shaking a few times before, but had never commented as at the time it had been not at all dramatic. This night however, it was rather obvious.
Naturally, I wished I had shut my trap.

[Marsilius]

Because traditional Thai culture is feudal in nature, everyone knows who is above them and who is below them in society

Oh, not's let get onto this again! Thai society is hierarchical, for sure, but it is definitely NOT "feudal" - because it is not characterised by the transfer of land in exchange specifically for military service. Rather it is a society characterised by (largely informal) ties of patronage.

See the prolonged discussion had here earlier at gay-thailand-f9/interesting-analysis-pad-t16611-15.html