[Smiles]

Sat in Dick's Cafe in Soi Twilight with Mr Pot, Mr Trongpai and his boyfriend watching the flow of googly-eyed first-timers (or so it seemed), the paunchy/pasty Old Timers, the No-Neckers (or which there were some classics), the pushy Hi-So'ers (or so they think) sashey past our table the other night. The purpose of this minor voyeurism was finding good 'intel': i.e. the proper time, opportunity, and ~ most importantly ~ the venue in which a true, no holds barred, Fuck Show could be found. They are in fact, not held all the time, or at all the bars.

Mr Trongpai was far and away the better source for this quest, or at least able to find the best source ~ him being a BKK trawler of some renown. With 'T' leading the way, furtive whisperings, sly nodding of heads, a quick conversation into the ear of the In-The-Know dude gave up the name of the lucky GoGo bar which stood the best chance of producing the real McCoy: i.e. (on this sweet night) DREAM BOYS.

By pure chance, this very bar is located straight across the Soi from Dick's, so we sat and waited for a few good signals: to whit, what was the traffic going to be up the stairs into the dark innards of Dream Boys? Too few entering that den was a bad sign ... a signal that the fucking was mediocre, or, worse, non-existent. A large crowd pushing up the ramp like a swarm of bloodlusting tiger sharks in classic fedding frenzy mode would bode well for us catching a perfect view of other-people-fucking. So ... as the crowd up that staircase started to come close to being out of control, we rose from our seats, nodded knowingly to each other, pushed old ladies out of way and ~ frothing gently from the mouth ~ dashed across the soi in the attempt to get the best seat possible.

The "All Drinks 250 Baht" sign was front and centre (my heart starting beating at feverish pitch at that more than the Fuck Show I do admit), so, with Mr Pot instructed that this was to be a one-drink max outing, we sat against the back wall with a quite uninterrupted view. Little was I to know that Mr 'T' was to end up an hour later with his head on my lap, his legs in the air, and the fuckee of the evening getting royally pumped while his face was buried deeply into Mr 'T's crotch.
But I digress ...

To make a long story short:

The BIG DICK SHOW (1): Must admit that there were some Really Good Ones that night. Some very handsome guys on parade, all with great, quite impressive, engorged members ( insert here: side conversations with Mr Pot on how they do that, for that long ... and how "you can do better" ). They entered stage right down an appropriately winding ~ and dark ~ staircase and came out into the stage lights all proud and 90 degree angles (at least!). Nice smiles too boot.

The BIG DICK SHOW (2): Oddly, after that enjoyment came a few moments of things-I-could've-done-without: a tacky fashion show displayed by a gaggle of very tall, austere and hoity-toity lady boys. Ho humm ho humm .... but, after that appetizer they disappeared for a few minutes, re-emerging in similar outfits but with serious erections poking naughtily out between slits in their taffeta and chiffon frocks. Not my cuppa tea thanks .... not particularly funny .... left the audience with tepid applause.
Scientific observation: Dream Boy Lady boys for the most part have smaller cocks than the 'actual' Big Dick troup. But, also for the most part, they were bigger than mine.
Go figure.

The FUCK SHOW: All the actual fucking was undertaken by The Fuckee and The Fucker. This was no orgy, unless one includes the audience participation, and that was limited to those in the audience who were, (1) Frozen in terror that the Fuckers should see them and chose them as participants (i.e. 'me'), (2) actively calling the Fuckers over to be mauled by a screaming Fuckee and/or covered in sweat and semen (i.e. Mr 'T', I soon discovered), or (3) those who smartly head for the hong nam at the start of the audience crawl.

This fucking by the way was Extreme Penetration alley. It wasn't fake in any way, and lasted half an hour ... or so it seemed. There was fucking on two poles (upside down & downside up), fucking from the ceiling (upside down), fucking on chairs, fucking in positions I could hardly dream of, 'walk-a-mile-in-my-condom' fucking (i.e. the complete perimeter of the bar including all dark corners), fucking where the Fuckers feet were astride the Fuckees chest (that's the bottoms of his feet), unbelievably hard fucking where the gogo poles were literally shaking apart, fucking on the laps of four really fat guys, frantic rabbit-fucking as in 'delerium tremens', fucking on top of the head of one really cute guy . . . and then ~ god help me ~ the fucker caught sight of the drooling Mr Trongpai, and made a beeline straight for, US (needless to say, while fucking)!! (see above ... "legs in air, face in crotch").

We left soon after. Mr 'T' needed a good hair dryer, and I needed some quiet time. Boyfriend #1 appalled ... Boyfriend #2 jaded.

Cheers ...


PS ... should add something here about the Gogo boys in general at Dream Boys. Bottom line (so to speak) is that this bar has a team of some of the cutest/handsomest gogo boys I've seen in a long time.
There are lots of guys on parade here (some who participated in that above-mentioned Big Dick & Fuck Shows, but many more besides) and lots of pickings left for those in the offing mood even after the hour approached 12. A handsomer group I could not have imagined ... had I a serious streak of butterfly within, I could think of a dozen guys there that night which have sufficed.

I mention this only because, at one of the last GoGo bars I have stepped in lately (My Way in Patong), the place was seriously in need of help. Paunchy, out of shape guys, many over the hill ... hardly a cute boy on the stage. A GoGo Boy recession, which happily has been reduced in severity by our journey into Soi Twilight.

[catawampuscat]

my computer is steaming and too hot to touch..
trongpai is indeed one of the best farangs to guide one thru the steamy go go bars
of BKK and knows what is happening and what is not..
I was kind of grossed out by the ladyman big cock show as well and somewhat surprised
at how large some of the ladymen's equipment were but still have no interest in them.

It does sound like the show was worth the 250B. drink price. I also instruct any lad with me
to sip slowly and advise them there is a one drink limit. I try not to bring Thai boys with me
to go go bars as it is somewhat akin to bringing 'coals to Newcastle' but sometimes it is just the way it is.

Sorry, I missed Smiles when he was in Pattaya and we will have to reschedule another time.
I can't promise to do as well as trongpai but usually I know what is happening in the Pattaya go go bars.
A group of the Pattaya expats are heading up to BKK today and trongpai will have
to go again to one of these hedonistic sex shows, if he runs into them at Dicks..

[macaroni21]

PS ... should add something here about the Gogo boys in general at Dream Boys. Bottom line (so to speak) is that this bar has a team of some of the cutest/handsomest gogo boys I've seen in a long time.
There are lots of guys on parade here (some who participated in that above-mentioned Big Dick & Fuck Shows, but many more besides) and lots of pickings left for those in the offing mood even after the hour approached 12.

Agreed. For years now, I have been of the view that Dream Boys has the best looking boys in any Bangkok bar. In my case, I find myself drooling over at least half the guys on rotation. Evidently, from the steady crowds that Dream Boys get, many others think so too.

The problem, you will discover, is that the boys don't perform any better in your room than those from other bars, despite the highest bar fine (500 baht) anywhere.

To my eyes however, Dream Boys' shows have become predictable, esp as I am not a great fan of acrobatic fucking shows.

But in case you intend to revisit the soi, it might helpt o know that there are equally energetic fucking shows at Hotmale and Future Boys; they too go around the audience. At Tawan, the fucking show was mostly confined to the stage. Tawan's specialty however is the masturbation line-up.

[x in pattaya]

The purpose of this minor voyeurism was finding good 'intel': i.e. the proper time, opportunity, and ~ most importantly ~ the venue in which a true, no holds barred, Fuck Show could be found.

So all the time you spent in Pattaya passing out leaflets proclaiming the virtues of abstinence to startled denizens of Dongtan Beach was simply a prelude to venting your unbridled lust on the mean streets of Krung Thep?

One can only hope that the authorities will take away the impressionable Khun Pot before he’s been scarred for life. Everyone here in the convent is very disappointed in your behavior.

[Smiles]

" ... So all the time you spent in Pattaya passing out leaflets proclaiming the virtues of abstinence to startled denizens of Dongtan Beach was simply a prelude to venting your unbridled lust on the mean streets of Krung Thep? ... "

Purely a scientific expedition I assure you.
We were studying the possible inverse relationship in physical endowment between Kings (AKA the regular 'Big Dicks') and Queens (AKA squealing 'Lady Boys') in Bangkok sexual venues on colder nights in December.

We certainly did not come away empty handed.

Cheers ...

[z909]

Boyfriend #1 appalled ... Boyfriend #2 jaded.

I'm with the boyfriends on this one.

[Hmmm]

I seem to to recall it was Smiles who first drew attention to the Sawatdee Gay Thailand Forum 'guarantee' (see front page) "...A cornucopia of filth!..."

[jimnbkk]

Boyfriend #1 appalled ... Boyfriend #2 jaded.

I'm with the boyfriends on this one.

I've also seen these "shows". If a boy who has achieved an erection, then a rubber band is very tightly stretched around the base of his cock and balls to keep the blood up there, and keep the cock hard turns you on, well I certainly agree it's appalling. Seeing a hard cock that's turned purple with the stress is not a turn on to me. I do not know how the health of the kid is affected, but it cannot be good. There is no 'show' involved, just a bunch of boys with purple hardons on stage. And for this, you get to pay 250 baht for a drink.

Such a deal.

[Curious]

If a boy who has achieved an erection, then a rubber band is very tightly stretched around the base of his cock and balls to keep the blood up there, and keep the cock hard turns you on, well I certainly agree it's appalling.

Why don't they use a cock ring like every old gay man? Isn't a rubber band just the same thing?

[nanette]

Mr Smiles..I. find your reporting extremely hilarious.

Could you explain further what a taffeta frock looks like(it would be nice if you could give an illustration of what you actually saw).

Thanks.

[x in pattaya]

Mr Smiles..I. find your reporting extremely hilarious.

Probably best not to encourage him. Before you know it the lights will be dimmed and he'll be using a Power Point presentation in ways its creators could never have envisioned.

[TrongpaiExpat]

I can't promise to do as well as trongpai but usually I know what is happening in the Pattaya go go bars.
A group of the Pattaya expats are heading up to BKK today and trongpai will have
to go again to one of these hedonistic sex shows, if he runs into them at Dicks..

Unlike Smiles this Pattaya contingent on a road trip to Bangkok is far from being innocent babes in the woods when it comes to sniffing out sleaze or finding me.

We had dinner at Maxies (not Dicks) and went to two shows. Smiles wimped out after one show.

First show 10:15 X Boys nice mix of numbered boys. Four super energetic coyote dancers started the show and came out for fill between acts.

There were a total of seven sex performers doing all the usual routines including the popular cock golf putting with two making holes in one. Lady boy involvement was limited to one making some promotional announcements.

The BF not being with me this evening forced me to have one cute boy join me for the show but when I went to the hong nham I was consensually molested by some Asian customer.

For the second show we went to Boys Bangkok They also have a group of coyote dancers, much better than lady boy lip-sync. The big cock presentation is pretty much the same as Smiles described at Dream Boys but not the same show. They had painted erect boys and some erotic numbers with the finality being the Pepsi act. That is where if your sitting close you want to take a back seat. Pepsi (not coke) is administered sort of enema style and then there's a lot of expulsion and splashing.

At 1:00am the Pattaya contingent still did not have enough and was off to the darker side of street trade or god knows what--I went home.

[Bob]

Yep, pretty funny, Khun Smiles. Had I accompanied you and the group, I'm sure that I and Pot would have gone off to see temples and other upscale things (you know me, I'm more into staying home with a good book, sipping tea, and cuddling a warm puppy.....).

Back to reality.... .... it's been many years since I've actually seen a good old-fashioned fuck show but the last time, maybe 4-5 years ago, was at Boys of Bankok. Unbelievable acrobatic fucking from the monkey bars with some great looking guys. I'll have to put the book and tea down and go again....

[TrongpaiExpat]

Saturday night the tour of Bangkok sleaze continues with the expat dignitaries from Pattaya. This night we took in the first show at Hotmale. It's 220B per drink, no cover and I don't have a clue what the off fee is but quite a good selection of boys, about 25.

The bar is a smaller than Dream Boys with a small center stage. The show was about 1 1/2 hour and not as polished as the others. It's more sex, more big cocks, more monkey bars and less production. There must have been over 15 guys showing their impressive endowment.

I did not like the strobe lights, the music was too loud for me and a few smokers around me were annoying as well. I thought the Christmas music between acts was a nice touch.

One of the Pattaya dignitaries of renown sleaze proclaimed this was the best bar and best show of the three. So, in the past 4 days (Wed to Sat) I have been on the soi and in the bars but have not been to all the shows and don't have plans to continue this tour, others can take it from here but here are some generalizations. The customer numbers are down but not dead. There's plenty of good looking boys of all types. The sex shows are going strong. Each bars has variations on shows and if your into these shows you should find one to your tastes. For me the best show was at X Boys but you have to be careful with that bar and be on the lookout for a contingent of lady boy performers that congregate at the door for special events/shows including that very old lady boy that lip syncs something in Chinese.

I was promised a chuck-wow contest and a multi penetration event (Daisy Chain) at Hot Male but I guess the performers were not up to the task. Maybe next time.

For those who don't like smoking in the bars Dream Boys and Boys Bangkok are the only one with total compliance. The rest when the lights go out have some but not a lot lighting up including staff. Funny, the gay venues away from this farang ghetto are better at compliance with no smoking. Not sure why.

[Nelson]

With a trip to Thailand iminent, may I express the hope that the fashion for ladyboy anal specialities has now passed? I'm thinking particularly of ribbons and even sharp implements being pulled from rectums; balloons being burst by darts blown from the same; and most of all, the piece de resistance I once saw (suffered) which entailed a large ladyboy lying on her back and playing a toy trumpet through her back passage. On that occasion, the MC decided that the astonished audience couldn't enjoy the Dizzie Gillespie-esque skills of the performer sufficiently and thoughtfully placed a microphone next to her arsehole.
And yes, I am one of the cowards who suddenly need a pee when the screwing couples descend into the audience. Ever the conservative, I'm more than happy just to see naked cute guys on the stage. No more arse- trumpets, please.