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It won't be me who takes up swords with you

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Damn, Pete, what do you say when you do take up swords?

This is interesting reading but it does seem like too much work.

I do not want to go through exercises deciding what number to put on how much I know about someone, add that to another number and then decide if I can move on to trust and respect. I used to just hate those seminars and trainings that involve all of this labeling and assessing.

Then it becomes too much of a burden to enjoy.



I just want to enjoy the one I am with and that person to also enjoy me. When that no longer is happening then it is time for a change.

I also do not want to get all involved in too much long term planning because then completing the plan can get in the way of fun. The plan can become more important than the people.

All this planning and exercise taking and analyzing gets in the way of just enjoying the time together.

I do not want to make the relationship like a job or business.  

butterflies don't have mortgages.

That is very funny that you say that because I have just sold my house here in the USA to get out from under this mortgage and move to Thailand.

Are you one of those psychic people ?

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*I would agree with Dodger 100% that if a boy is only in a relationship to get his physical needs fulfilled (security needs), and a farang only to get his emotional needs fulfilled, then it is a relationship that probably would not work. (Please note the probably.)

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You know pete, I immediately thought of certain other relationships in nature.

Of course you have parasites where the parasites dwell on/in the host to the detriment of the host. But, you also have symbiotic relationships between certain plants and animals to the mutual advantage of both.

We can see our BF's as Nemo types living amid our stinging tentacles, he prepares our food and we protect him from the harsh realities of life

In many relationships though it's often hard to decide which is the anemone and which the fish!

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"I couldn't possibly donate my old clothes to the poor, don't they suffer enough already without having to have the shame of wearing last seasons stuff?"

Edina Monsoon from Ab Fab

I know that the answer may be ..how long is a piece of string ....but can someone tell me what is a reasonable amount to pay a bf each month. I am in a very new relationship for the first time and already the requests for money are coming in even though i was told initially that he was ok financially and wanted none. Think an allowance may be the answer..plan to be in thailand about four months of the year with him.  Thanks  

Teerak has a 'partner' credit card, with strict instructions not to spend more than B5000 a month (unless there is an extreme emergency) - he rarely if ever comes anywhere near that amount - and what he does spend using it is usually for books and study materials.



He has a scholarship that covers his uni fees. He has a part time job and I pay his monthly rent (B2500) for a nice room in halls.



I also pay health insurance for him.



He costs me less in a month than a night out in London would have done. And he never asks for more.







  

Wide Traveler,



I'm not trying to be cynical on this topic (again), but you may want to give this matter a little more thought before jumping in with both feet.



I just wired Boy Special some money as a Christmas gift yesterday, as I have done for the past 2 years.  He is my best friend in LOS, my lover, and the guy who's always standing front-and-center in of my dreams. Giving him this gift allows him to spend the holiday season with his family in Udorn Thani, and also covers 2 or 3 months of his room rent, which makes life a little easier on him.  



With this exception, I never send him any money during the year, and he never asks.  If he wants a farang who's willing to make that type of commitment, frankly, there's plenty out there to be had.  



He left the sex-for-hire business two years ago and earns a modest income working at a karaoke in Naklua.  I would like to think that I was HIS ONE AND ONLY GUY, but IMO, that's not being realistic.  He is well above the average in the looks department (even for a Thai) and it's quite possible that he's receiving monthly;y support payments from another farang...hell, it could even be Pete for all I know....just joking pete (tongue in cheek).  But if more cows start showing up on his grandmothers lawn I'll have to wonder...LOL.